Vintage

This guy has a can of #LaCroix and a Cliff Bar for #breakfast every morning.

This lady just changed her little girl's clothes, right here, in front of everyone. And she was not little enough to be standing around half dressed on public transportation.

I sat down in a row behind this girl because it is a row that has a table, and I need a table. She turns around, looks at me with disgust, and moves three rows up. Please - you do realize that this is #public #transportation, and this #train will not remain empty that long. Someone WILL sit near you at some point.

This guy, for real, has one of those little, beauty sleep masks on.

I hear the refreshingly familiar pop of a can of soda being opened. I look over and, nope, that would not be soda - that's a 40.

Guy sitting across from me has a booger hanging out of his nose.

Vintage

You are seven rows away. I should not know that you are skipping your workout to go to FC Dallas and your son needs to put his clothes in the dryer.

Vintage

Heard some interesting theories on the cold and removing frost from your windshield: "I looked out the window and there was no frost on my windshield so I didn't bring a hat because I thought it was warm."..."I poured a cup of water on my windshield to get rid of the frost and it turned to ice!"..."I didn't have anything to scrape the frost so I used a barrette and it scratched my windshield!"

Vintage

OH MY GOSH! Someone almost walked in front of the oncoming #DART. The only reason they stopped is because we all started screaming!

Sir, please get a bigger shirt. Those buttons are hanging on for dear life!

Lavender pants, purple and mauve parka, and burgundy brief case -smashing choices.

Great, we get to listen to this guy honk as he blows his nose repeatedly.

Dude, at least try to be discrete. You reek like pot!

I have to #laugh at these people who ride the same #train every day and every day, the minute they sit down, they call someone and say, "I'm on the train" Really? Given that is how you get to and from work, this is news?

A man just shouted, "Table saw, #coffee, #cigarettes, #sex!" I wonder what kind of a list he was making. #joieonthetrain #train

You smell like corn chips.

I sat down, and in the seat next to me is an abandoned thumb nail clipping.

Why do all of the chatty people get on in Richland Hills?

Vintage

I was going to sit down next to this guy, until I noticed he was in the middle of changing his pants!

QOTD

"I think leap year comes once every four years?"

Oh, such drama. No one feels bad for you because you are so tired you are pretending to have fallen asleep while standing up. Pretty sure most of us feel the same way.

Vintage

Okay, we all know that some boys can't pull their pants up, so we get to see their under-things, right? Please do NOT tell me the new thing is to let BOTH your pants AND your boxers hang down so your entire back side is hanging out. I am NOT kidding. Bare butt on the train seat!

Guy on his computer checking out delivery options from Sal's Pizza in Norfolk, VA. Wow, what's the delivery time on that?

Sleeping Beauties

More moldy feet. I just realized, today, it's because Sneezing Man takes his shoes off every night, so we all get a wiff.

I'm talking to a lady whose name I do not know, but we are always friendly while waiting on the transfer. We get on the train and I remark about how it seems extra crowded today. A random, self-important, hipster pipes up, "This is nothing compared to the trains in Japan." I just gave him a blank stare. While I realize he thinks he is super cool, I am not impressed.

Why does perpetually pregnant girl always sit with me?  I am forced to stare at her gaping maw as she mouth breathes her way into dream land.

Look, Dude, you see I have a laptop here. Don't sit down across from me and then act irritated by the sound of my typing.

It smells like moldy socks.

I look up from my book and make eye contact with a guy who has his finger firmly inserted in his nose. Rather than pull it out with some embarrassment, he continues to dig and even pulls his finger out to look and see if he got what he was trying for.

In an attempt to further reduce the likelihood of a seat mate, Mr. Frozen Shoulder now wears ear plugs, so he cannot hear anyone asking him to move his stuff from the vacant seat next to him.

Thank you for coughing directly into my face for the past thirty minutes.

Vintage

I'm reading, which of course compels strangers to interrupt me. "Do you mind if I sit here?" "No." I say without looking up from my book. "That's a good book." the man says.(Really, he is a fan of Nora Roberts?)."Yes." I say without looking up." I had today off and had to go to the Doctor for some tests because I snore real loud and am on a breathing machine."...as he pulls out his Kool's and taps one out of the pack.

I just watched a guy on the platform perform a perfectly executed snot-rocket. You sir, are disgusting.

Vintage

Guy gets on, pulls out his cell phone and begins to loudly yack in his tobacco-compromised voice. I glance over and notice - he's wearing slippers.

Vintage

So, I am working on some cross stitch, which involves a needle and thread. This guy sits down across from me and asks, "What are you knitting?" And before anyone says "He's a guy, what do you expect?" the conversation later revealed that his wife knits so...