QOTD

"Half Price Books sure has a lot of books!"

Sleeping Beauties

So, this guy rides every day. He always has quite a bit of stuff with him. Every day, he takes off his coat and stuffs it in the over head compartment, gets out his ipad to watch videos on, along with his two cell phones (because he is that important), and puts his bag in the seat next to him. This all takes a reasonable amount of agility. The reaching, pulling, unzipping, etc. Each time someone asks to sit in the seat he has taken up with his bag, he places his hand on his shoulder, winces, and replies, "Ok, but it is going to take me awhile to move all of this stuff because I have a frozen shoulder." Really? Because you shimmied out of that coat and stuffed it in the over head no less than twenty minutes ago without any issues at all.

Another dip-shit table hog with no use for the table.

QOTD

"Your wife probably won't like Star Wars. I mean, she's a girl, and she only has sisters."

Vintage

Two guys talking, and Guy 1 asks Guy 2 about his lap top. "You got a camera on that thing man?" Guy 2: "Yeah." Guy 1: "Man you never know if that thing is on or off...you don't know who is watchin' you man!"

Vintage

Mr. Tea is playing his hard sided brief case like a drum REALLY loud. After two very hard and annoyed stares he finally toned it down.

Wow, is that your breath I smell?

Vintage

This lady went up to a guy who was sleeping and set 2 bags of Bugles and 2 bags of sunflower seeds on the table in front of him and just walked away. When he woke up he had a definite WTH? look on his face.

Vintage

This dude gets on with a hard sided suit case and two freebie canvas grocery bags. He removes his coat and scarf - not entirely odd, but the trip is at most, one hour. Then he removes his sweater - getting comfy are we? He settles into his seat, clad in a smart looking red and blue striped golf shirt. Out comes a water bottle, retrieved from the suit case which contains ONLY water bottles. From one shopping bag he pulls a news paper and some headphones - the other contains an old sock. Within the dingy tube are a seemingly important pair of nail clippers - and a baggie of grapes. Looks like he has everything he needs.

Oh my gosh. This guys takes his shoes off EVERY DAY and his feet reek. And I mean REEK. They smell like funky Frito toes mixed with day old sweat and the hot, damp smell your laundry gets when you forget it is in the washing machine.

Stop staring at me with your mouth hanging open.

I love this time of year on the train. Everyone is trying to squeeze in their remaining vacation days that their employers denied them for lame reasons earlier in the year, so there are hardly any riders. That means I can do homework without people interrupting me with the question of "What are you working on?"

Vintage

Guy with his face flat on the table in front of him, like a kid would press his face to a window, smashing his lips against the table and licking it.

So this guy got on this morning. I apologize for the blurry photo, but it was hard to snap a picture while standing on a bumpy, crowded, rush hour train. He didn't belong to anyone. The conductor said he just kept hopping on and off at different stops.

Vintage

Does anyone remember that Saturday Night Live sketch, Annoying Man? Well, he rides the train now. He used to talk on his phone incessantly at a deafening volume until one day last year when I shushed him. Now he does other things like kick the seats and scream yawn...you would think he is five years old.

Vintage

This guy just told this girl, "Dude...you look like Matlock." Not sure I would take that so well.

Vintage

I swear, heffer, there are 40 other seats on this thing that are empty. If you don't stop kicking me I will physically move you to one myself!

Sleeping Beauties

The guy sitting across from me missed a button on his shirt. Now I can't help but stare at his black, curly belly hair poking its way through the opening.

Vintage

Okay, Dude. That is three days in a row you have had wicked bad gas. A little Beano - PLEASE!

It's 38 degrees, and this old guy is sitting here in flip flops reading about quadratic equations.